12) Presuming you guilty until proven innocent. Again, a controlling person is often very skilled at making you feel that you've done something wrong even before you realize what you did. You may think your husband is the lazy one... but chances are you're just too controlling. Below are 12 signs to help you detect whether or not you are dating a bum. Great Post. I am getting over a breakup with a controlling man. It took me a while to figure him out, but it became apparent when i took a step back, wiped my “rosey love-stricken” googles clear and saw him for what he was. Something I, and unfortunately many other women, know a lot about is toxic relationships. A toxic substance is something that causes damage to you, drains you, and depletes you. A toxic relationship can irrevocably damage your sense of self. There are toxic relationships and then there are toxic. If you already have a partner, congratulations, you've beaten the system. For the rest of us, modern dating is a minefield. There are so many rules and games to play it's easy to lose track. Just ask Tina Swithin, who went on to write a book about surviving her experience with a man who clearly meets criteria for NPD (and very likely, a few other diagnoses). To her lovestruck eyes. The only way you can describe how you feel is that you feel minimized. You feel crushed and smothered. You’re constantly second-guessing yourself; your feelings, your perceptions, your memories, and a small, suffocated part inside of you wonders whether you are actually going crazy. But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships [Jill Murray] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. One in three girls will be in a controlling, abusive dating relationship before she graduates from high school – from verbal or emotional abuse to sexual abuse or physical battering. Dealing with a controlling parent. Your parents may display a few, or worse, all the above signs. Do not be discouraged; tapping on a few coping mechanisms will make it easier to adjust to their controlling behavior.. First, empower yourself.. You may have parents who try to keep you in an Alcatraz-like, emotional prison, but you are responsible for your actions.